Trying to be good

Today I went out for lunch with JMC at Mimi's Cafe. Mimi's is a chain restaurant with reasonably decent American food, kind of like Marie Callender's without pie. For whatever reason, it tends to be the go-to meeting/work lunch spot in this area--I've been there probably four times over the past year and all for business related lunches. I'm trying to be good, so I ordered a Gardenburger and fruit. There's not much I can say about Gardenburgers, since they all taste the same. This one came with lettuce, tomatoes, and red onion. I held the pickles, since I can't stand them. There was some sort of thousand island dressing on the side for my burger, but I didn't use it. The fruit consisted of a slice of cantaloupe, a slice of honeydew, and a couple of orange wedges. Yum. Really. The melon was surprisingly sweet. Our server was really good and managed to keep up with my camel-like drinking habits.

Anyway, it wasn't my ideal day for a luncheon, much less a business-related one. I got rocked in court today and I was in the mood for being alone and re-grouping. I got my client everything he wanted, so on that end it was a success. But having to sit there completely stoic while Mom is right across from me bawling her eyes out, accusing me of taking her only child away from her . . . it wears on a person sometimes. Usually it doesn't affect me--I'm admittedly more of an ice queen than I'd like to be. However, (despite what OPP thinks of me) I can't completely shrug it off. I don't have any guilt over what I did because I don't think anyone who was 5150'd two weeks ago and just got out of drug rehab has any business having primary custody of a baby. Even so, it can be pretty intense seeing all of that raw emotion and knowing that I am partly responsible for causing her pain. Not that I don't think she did it to herself--I'm the poster child for advocating personal responsibility. But my job was to ensure that she no longer had primary custody, and I did my job well.

So, back to lunch . . . I wasn't really in the mood to schmooze and talk about switching firms, but I had committed to the lunch last week and needed to follow through. I have a lot of thinking to do over the next few weeks. I hate change, but not to the point that of my detriment. I know I need to find a new job. I don't know if it will be with JMC, but we shall see.